I’m reminded, every now and again, how bad an idea it is to fuck with me. Because even though I’m one of the nicest people deep down, I hold a huge ass grudge and if you continually show me you don’t respect me… why the hell should I respect you?
Okay end rant… I’m just seriously astonished at the bold faced lying of most people, especially when it comes to dating.
Why lie?! There’s no point.
It’s hard to be upset when a project you’ve been working on for two and a half years is finally going to be done.
Crown me queen of Letdown City, ‘cause it looks like I’ll be hangin’ out here for awhile.
I will find a love. I will find a love so true, so classic and unwavering that I don’t second guess the words said or the looks given. It’s a faith I have, you see. I know this because I know myself, I know the love I can give can be returned. Because the energy you put into the world will come back to you, eventually.
I will find a love so strong that I’ll wish for their happiness, I’ll support their dreams no matter how big or how small, I’ll feel safe in their arms.
Actually, it’ll probably find me.
To all the people throughout my life who helped me get past the anxiety of having awkward moments in conversations with strangers, dates, etc… you have helped me more than you know. In many cases you probably helped by simply being you, and aren’t even aware of the positive effects it had on my life. Each and every time you let the silence linger a little too long for most people’s tastes, each time you stared at me with a cockeyed look on your face and made me guess what you were thinking… you helped me. Instead of being riddled by questions about myself and how I am acting in a coversation or interaction, I can enjoy it. I don’t need to second guess every movement I just made out of instinct, I don’t need to worry about it after the moments are gone. After everything’s said and done, the collected chatter ceases to matter, I realize it’s exactly that. Fleeting moments that need to be enjoyed and not analyzed, worried about constantly.
So, thank you.
You know what I think is the craziest thing ever? That I am the logical, communicative, understanding one. The person who says what she means. When I’m gone one day, at least they can say of me “She was honest.”